of my worth as a man

"what would an angel say?
the devil wants to know..."

-Fionna Apple


oh my lady fair
please have a care
to turn me not away
on this ending day

oh sweet gentle providence
you i do try to convince
of my worth as a man
to come take my hand

and in a private place
let us null the space
that keeps us asunder
so we may craft wonder

only the sweat and blood

for three long years
i cried many tears
lost and lost again
beaten down for my sin

nothing to offer
empty was my coffer
only the sweat and blood
of my body was worth good

and bit by bit
i have learned to commit
to a path few would choose
a way out of these blues

this was his simple lesson

"Joy to the World /
the Lord has come!"

-Joy to the World

this is the day
when sin passed away
for among us was born
the one to save us from scorn

be as good to a stranger
as you would to the one born in the manger
this was his simple lesson
given to all of us as a blessing

so remember that this morn
the one who was born
the lowest among us
and in who we give all trust

feelings pass

"just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die /
all you have to do is Try"

-P!nk

far wanderings
simple musings
a brief moment of singing
seasons too quick in turning

love comes
then love goes
feelings pass
emotions do not last

promises were made
vows were laid
lies were spoken
hearts were broken

the hate and the woe

"it's been a long time coming but i finally broke
like an act of God i ain't no joke..."

-Kid Rock

gently now sweet sister
dont let the blister
of a harsh hand
raised in reprimand

be your only guide to life
there is more than the strife
the hate and the woe
so much more i will show

there is beauty and wonder
songs free of blunder
come out from that dark place
and let shine your beautiful face

seasoned with asperity

when death finally finds me
i hope to be
a very tasty treat
a truly delicious sweet

a soul so finely flavoured
to be among deaths favoured
seasoned with asperity
and sweeted by charity

not a bland nor boring taste
but a soul with adventure for baste
to seek, to learn, to go, to try
and thus, in the end, to die

it is by the one aboves grace

we have so much
is it such
a burden to let go
and give to those who are low?

a hand clenched tight
is a fist made to fight
it is by the one aboves grace
that we even exist is this time and place

so share with your neighbor
all you have to savor
be as kind to that stranger
as you would to your own savior

but hope ne'er does fail

can you see me?
do you dare to be
everything you can dream?
all is not that it does seem

we do bow our head
and cower before dread
but hope ne'er does fail
always it will prevail

worry not you must try
for by order divine
all is well in hand
all thoughout the land

sometimes a slow sad cadence

time marches on
we all have our song
sing it we must
in divine grace we trust

we dance along the way
through each and every day
sometimes a slow sad cadence
sometimes a flow of radiance

and at the very end
i hope i have been
a useful servant
and lived to glorify the new covenant

i came grieving

it was all a horrible lie
and i did cry and cry
simply medieval
is the depth of her evil

blinded by her beauty
and the promise of purity
i came grieving
into her trap so willing

put my bruised heart to the fire
and cackled at my ire
but it was all a lie
her evil i can not deny

so it has been written

do not relent
give 100 percent
give it all you got
throw in your whole lot

thus is the greater glory
at the end of the story
so it has been written
no real safety beneath heaven

what road will you take
that does not end at your wake?
what riches will you hold
for death to find you too bold?

but tonight i am burning

sometimes the rage is bad
and i am so mad
that i could burn to the ground
every church to be found

i know these feelings wont last
and the hardships become past
but tonight i am burning
my soul is twisting and turning

its hurting its hurting
there is no comforting
there is no release
there is no cure to this disease

of fates bitter tonic

its burning inside
is it my pride?
and how to i hide
the rage that has me fried?

all the promises torn
drives ever deeper the thorn
of fates bitter tonic
turning my thoughts demonic

rise above is the command
and offer a helping hand
to those who sought my decline
turning the other cheek is divine

to thee above i trust

where do i stand?
somewhere in this great land
i must meet my destiny
my touch of divinity

i take it slow
and try to not be low
to thee above i trust
my life i must

i seek a grace that chooses
to love me despite my bruises
and is not tied
by blood on my side

closer to each of us

you want to live
only to never give
love freely to another
only that will ease your hunger

its a simple thing
to give what we would bring
closer to each of us
a concept called 'trust'

love like it will not be broken
love like you are no mere token
love like it will be the last chance
love like it will be the last dance

absolutely beautiful

of fear we find defeat

yes & yes again
when joy lifts the pen
the turning of the season
has brought a new reason

to make the heart light
and banish the cold night
of fear we find defeat
and love we do meet

with each and every step
the promise is kept
that life does go on
eternal is the song

faith is redeemed

am i doing enough?
have i been tough?
have i been strong?
am i so wrong?

such a splendid life is this
to live with such bliss
faith is redeemed
in a heart that beats clean

can i be enough?
can i be tough?
can i be strong
to set to right what is wrong?

it's a game in our head

in comes panic
threatening to sink hope like the titanic
and worry settles in
with doubt sporting a grin

but what is fear
but shadows that are near?
it's a game in our head
this unfounded dread

so laugh at fate we must
for there is one we can trust
in heavens hands we dwell
and never our soul will they sell

i could look forever

would you please
help to appease
this burning in my heart
and give me a new start?

would you fill
the spaces that are still?
i could look forever
into eyes so clever

would you stay
just one more day
and see what it brings
be it sorrow or grins?

an end to terror he does bring

the secret crowds gather
and rather
than turn away
he comes this day

the lion does stir
and his heart is pure
an end to terror he does bring
to all who name him king

there is magic still
over wood and hill
rejoice for among you
walks one who is true

this dry land

oh the heat!
this is not a treat!
it is hard to greet
each hot day we meet

when will the rain fall?
the clouds stall and stall
this dry land
is giving all that it can

but hope still sings its song
and faith is still strong
and love is here to stay
even on the hottest day

no friends who call

its a loneliness so deep
that i can not sleep
no dreams to keep
no end to how i weep

when no one is there
no family, no heirs
no friends who call
no one to break the fall

please take my hand
and tell me im not banned
that love still finds me sweet
and has no more deceit

and see you everyday

they grow and grow
time does not slow
one alone then two
was the order due

i love you both so much
i wish i could touch
and see you everyday
but it is not the way

i am grateful just to be
your true daddy
you both bring me such joy
such beauties to enjoy

could not find

the heart is sore
for i tore
anothers trust
repent i must

she is sweet
and very neat
could not find
the courage in my mind

to be honest from the start
for my heart
is still not that strong
to sing my own song

my beautiful little girls

ive heard these all
and my heart did fall
so many promises broken
so many lies spoken

no stronger bind is there
than a father and his heirs
my beautiful little girls
dancing sunlight and she of the curls

i am just a man
and i dont know the plan
from up above
all i have to give you both is love

the only way is ahead

its a breath
away, what we call death
its a simple cause
from is to was

so here we go
and we must know
the only way is ahead
so know no dread

the path has been set
and we are well met
by the one whos grace
is ne'er out of place

take our love to the place

it is churning
this heart is burning
i am begging thee
to release me

open thy beauty
and let us for eternity
take our love to the place
where time has no face

wherever you go
this you must know
my love stays true
never turn my back on you

open i must

im lonely
i feel empty
sooner in the quicker out
and more into doubt

to get love
i must give love
open i must
the heart behind the crust

im ready i know
to not let go
its hard to be still
and wait for the thrill

want to hold on to pain

sometimes i wonder
at where did i blunder?
but looking back
is only a sidetrack

forward i must go
into what i do not know
want to hold on to pain
that kept me insane

yesterdays demons
can be the reasons
to keep me sick
but its the same old trick

how weak i am

strike me down
cast your frown
upon me
make me see

how powerful you be
how strongly you can see
how weak i am
and my life is a sham

beat me tear me apart
but know from the start
i have already won
for in me shines the sun

i wish to be

I seek you O Lord
in my heart you have struck the chord
of truth that no one can deny
of a soul no one can buy

i am seeking the glory
of the unending story
i wish to be
a spirit that is free

i look to you
and you tell me true
that eternal life
comes with strife

i should not hear

im not a monster
and i have no answer
i can only trust
in god i must

they come and plead
with lies they lead
i should not hear
but fate does steer

i am all alone
naked before the throne
i yearn for my true loves touch
i desire it so much

i know the heart seeks not

"..to remind us of the ones held back /
upfront there ought to be a Man in Black"

- Johnny Cash

i will not dispense pain
i will not offer shame
seeking a greater glory
seeking a purer story

i know the power of bended knee
to seek the divinity
i know the heart seeks not
ridicule for its lot

i will take the lowest chair
and i will dare
to dine on what is put before me
and grateful be

well met we be

this is yearning
this is learning
waiting wondering hoping
stuttering muttering moping

the truth does not fit
the picture of wit
well met we be
now you are free

the good lord shall bring
a brand new spring
and flowers shall grow
where the snow did blow

to join in the Great Recovery

rise and rise again
till we are free from sin
we are brought together
by failures cruel tether

break free we must
put an end to lust
to join in the Great Recovery
and set ourselves free

so much can be had
so much to make us glad
for forgoing a little pleasure
and storing up our treasure

to make of as we will

it is eternity calling
it is pride falling
it is forever it does seem
to live this dream

what a great gift is time
to spend on what we define
to make of as we will
until finally we are still

care you take
in all that you make
and on what you spend
your most precious gem

is it like a river flowing

what is love?
is it a gift from above?
is it chemicals in our blood?
is it all that is good?

is it like the wind
blowing here and then gone again?
is it like a river flowing
never straight, always twisting and turning?

is it a candle in the dark
or a fair summer day at the park
i dont know that i can say
for is it love if it does not stay?

how do we win the race

stand and be true
god is not through with you
face your fear
before its all you have dear

so far from grace
is this dark place
how do we win the race
when we wont even show our face?

eternity is too long
to wait for your song
its gonna hurt, the choices made
no other way to put problems paid

Another Day Will Dawn

softly now my dear
hope is always near
to ease that troubled mind
and turn thoughts kind

no trouble is so great
that if we just wait
another day will dawn
and fear will be withdrawn

just to make it through
the times we are blue
is sometimes all we can do
worry not for love is always with you

will be bestowed on you

i will tell you thus
you simply must
not fail to believe
in gods love for thee

no more than you can carry
or is too scary
will be bestowed on you
only gods love is true

love does shine
straight from the divine
it swells the heart
from the end to the start

pain is here without a doubt

what do we have to fear
with so much wonder near?
oh how the sun does shine
and its majesty is all mine

is it possible to see
the ending of beauty?
pain is here without a doubt
so its your choice of which to mount

eyes open to wonder
or focused on others plunder
so rich we all are
when we stop looking at our scars